JM: So, have you ever used a toilet that's just a hole in the ground?
Me: Yes, I didn't enjoy it.
JM: Yeah, when you use it all you hear is plop, plop, plop. It's funny.
Me: Ummm... is this what boys talk about at dinner?
Me: Hmmm. It's worse when you get a mosquito bite when you're using it.
JC: Don't you think we're being gross?
Me: I'm hungry.
JC: Oooooh (general nodding all around.) Hey, Tez, I can't have any of J***'s birthday cake tonight. I gave it up for Lent.
Me: Well done! That's fine. You can have something else.
HM: What did you give up for Lent, Tez?
Me: Nothing. I'm not Christian... but I don't eat pork.
JC: Aw yeah, is that because you're a Mongolian?
Me: (trying to maintain composure, not choke, snort or laugh hysterically) I think you mean a Muslim, dear.
JC: Aw yeah, one of those. (nodding sagely)
My boys crack me up.