Letter To My Baby

I wrote this a couple of days ago - now that Miss Two-And-A-Half is learning to put herself to sleep, I am filled with irrational sadness... this was the goal, wasn't it? To have her self-regulate, without tears? To put herself to sleep so we didn't spend hours putting her to sleep each night? I am so happy at her success, but so sad at the same time - how is time going so fast? I know I'm not alone in this feeling...

So I thought I would share.

Today you fell asleep on me, baby.
It's been such a long time since you've fallen asleep in my arms at night - not for wont of you trying. We're always trying to get you into bed, to cajole you in with cuddles and promises of more stories, in the hopes you'll start putting yourself to sleep... because "You're a big girl now."
But today you snuggled in for our cuddle and sighed so sweetly - after a minute I felt that telltale heaviness and heard that change in your breathing, and I knew you had drifted off to The Land of Nod.
And I loved it.
I held you for a while and enjoyed the feeling of your weight in my arms, the heaviness of your head on my shoulder and your little arms entwined around my neck.
I felt our love all around us, filling the room.
I savoured that moment, because I knew that would probably be the last time it happened.
They tell you that the hardest thing is that you don't realise it'll be the 'last time' and you forget to enjoy it.
So I like to think that you gave me that 'last time' as a gift, because you seemed to know that I needed it as much as you did.
Thank you, baby. 
It's a moment I will never forget.

Love you,
Mum

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How Do I Love Thee?

It has been a bit of a hard month, so some gratitude won't go amiss today. 

Eight years ago today, we got engaged. Every day, I am grateful for our love, our life together and our baby. 

Dipping My Toes In

In an effort to regain some balance in my life, I have resolved to start writing again. 

The problem is that I would write, rewrite, edit, rewrite, add photos, rewrite and then maybe publish. I just don't have that kind of time anymore. 

So I will start small with something big.

Gratitude. 

Today, I am grateful that my baby loves her crazy Aunty and her nana so very much. 

I am grateful that I got to see Mum on FaceTime, which instantly made me feel less sick. 

I am especially grateful to be living here, in a safe, peaceful country where I am freely allowed to practise my (peaceful) religion. 

I am grateful for you and all those I hold dear in my heart. 

A Lot Can Happen In 10 Years

Yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of me landing in New Zealand. I was only meant to come here for a couple of years to work and see this side of the world... needless to say, I'm still here.  Time flies when you're having fun!

A lot's happened in the past decade.  Some of the highlights (and lowlights) include (off the top of my head):

Personally:

I became a resident of New Zealand.

I met the man of my dreams (after meeting a few of the men of my nightmares!)

I went to Singapore for an amazing Golden Jubilee Darbar.

Phill and I got married (in NZ and in Canada), bought a house and had a beautiful baby.

 I missed some family weddings (boo!)






We got to go to do a bit of travelling and go to some family weddings and engagements overseas (Aussie and U.S.A.).





Navaz and Shazeen got married and gave us our beautiful Noah & Maya.

 Phill's brother, Grant got married to a lovely lady, Jenna and also gave us a beautiful niece.

I developed an (unhealthy?) addiction to wool and knitting.


I've made some amazing, lifelong friends here in NZ (so blessed! These photos are by no means all of the amazing friends I have here, but simply the ones that are already on my blog and a small selection of the wonderful people I know.)

  Globally:

The rise of social media - the way we connect with each other and stay in touch has changed dramatically over the past few years. Along with that goes the mass dissemination of information - things happen and the world knows almost instantaneously... I feel that this is both good and bad in equal measure and something that has changed the world (my world) most drastically.

The iPhenomenon... Apple's changed the landscape of portable music/phone/tablet devices.



The first African-American president of the U.S.A. -  A pretty big deal if you ask me
The deaths of Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston - two of my childhood favourites and idols

A royal wedding and birth - such lovely occasions to celebrate!

Natural disasters - earthquakes in Christchurch, Japan, Haiti & Pakistan / The Boxing Day Tsunami / Hurricane Katrina


The All Blacks finally win the Rugby World Cup again

The Global Fiancial Crisis

The Maple Leafs in the Stanley Cup Playoffs (twice in the past decade actually)

There are many, many more - what's happened in the past 10 years that resonate the most with you?

Living With Intention and Appreciation

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I don't make New Year's Resolutions anymore - well, I say I don't, but I always scrawl some down secretly; I never share them with anyone else though.

Faiza mentioned the phrase New Year's Intentions once on her blog.  I quite liked that - it fit with what I am trying to embrace in my life, but didn't quite know how to articulate it.  Then February rolled around and the resolutions rolled down that slope that seems to get steeper and steeper as the years march on, but the thoughts kept rattling around and around in my head.

Last year, I attended a leadership workshop - what resonated most with me was the phrase "Live with intention."  They talked about the number of times you see friends and say something along the lines of "Oh, we must get together!" but then that's the last time you see them, until you bump into them again.  Basically, don't say it if you're not going to do it. 
Then this quote popped up a few times in my blog trawling:

 "Live with intention.  Walk to the edge.  Listen hard.  Practice wellness.  Play with abandon.  Laugh.  Choose with no regret.  Appreciate your friends.  Continue to learn.  Do what you love.  Live as if this is all there is." - Mary Anne Radmacher

 
So, I decided the universe was trying to send me a message and I'd better stop and listen for a bit.

I know it's a lot bigger than getting in touch with your friends and inviting them over for coffee, but it's a start.  So I've started living with intention a bit more now.  I am actively working on all of those things, but most of all, I appreciate my friends.  I'm working on expressing this and staying in touch a bit better than I have in the past.  It's not that hard to pick up the phone, even with a time difference... there's nothing wrong with leaving a message and just saying, "Hi, I'm thinking of you."

Recently, I had some friends over to our new house.  (How long is it new for?  May I keep calling it our new house until we've been here a year?)  I invited my neighbours from many moons ago over to check out our new digs.  I moved out my little flat almost 6 years ago, and since then, my contact with them has been sporadic.  My neighbours were more than just friends - they were (are) my family here.  They fed me, clothed me, took care of me and even bathed me (I was allowed to use their bathtub upstairs when they weren't home.)  Like with a lot of family, it's easy to take them for granted.  They're always there in your thoughts, but it's easy to let it slide - after all, we're all just so busy.  So I sent an email to invite them over.  No response from two families, but a 'yes' from one.  Okay, that's a start.  I could have left it, but I thought that enough was enough.  So I texted the other two.  Still no answer.  Easy enough to just give up, but that's not living with intention!  So I rang - I picked up the phone, had a good old yarn and voila - they were all here on Friday evening.

It was fantastic.  We laughed and chattered like no time had passed - they oohed and aahed over our expansive garden and left laden with bags of veggies.  It was a perfect evening (although my healthy eating went straight out the window that day, but it was well worth it), which should have happened sooner.  I definitely intend to do it with more of my friends, more often.  That's a promise.

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Heartwarming

Please, if you only read one thing today, read this story about gender stereotyping and the general awesomeness of older brothers.   

Made me miss my big brother a little bit more at this very moment.  Big brothers = awesome.

Happy New Year!

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Sorry this is a day or two late - I've been busy enjoying having Phill home for a few days!

I loved 2011.  Of course, every year has its own ups and downs, but it is through those peaks and troughs I've find strength within myself and my relationships.  There's been so much great stuff over the past year, it's impossible to keep track of it all, but off the top of my head... I've been so blessed to have had the opportunity to strengthen and redefine friendships over the past year.  I've also been lucky enough to meet some fantastic new people at work that make me soul happy.  I spent some amazing time with my family in Toronto this year, and while I love everyone at home, I'm most pleased I got to know my niece, Maya a little bit better.  I could prattle on for hours and hours, but I shan't.

I just wanted to thank you for being part of my life... you are amazing and a beautiful soul.

Wishing you all the best for the coming year - may 2012 be filled with lots of love, laughter, happiness, peace, cupcakes, and more good stuff than you ever thought imaginable.

Happy New Year!

Christmas

I LOVE Christmastime.  I really, truly do.  A bit funny coming from a Muslim, I know, but I can't help it.

The festive spirit, the holidays (wahoo), and all that Peace on Earth and Goodwill stuff.  It's awesome.  I don't (only say) Season's Greetings or Happy Holidays.  I also do not believe in calling it x-mas because I'm not Christian, I try to give my Christian friends the respect they deserve, by acknowledging the spiritual and religious significance of the day for them, just like they do for me - for example, one of my closest non-Muslim friends always emails/calls/sends a card every Kushali to say Kushali Mumbark to me.  I love her so much for this simple act and thoughtfulness - in addition to the hundreds of other things that make her lovely of course!

What I love most about Christmas is the warm glow of love that surrounds the holiday season and the day itself.  The presents don't hurt either, but not because of the fact that it's a present (while always fantastic), it truly is the thought behind it.  That someone thought of and considered me enough to get me a token of their love and appreciation makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I hope that I do the same for them with my gift giving!  I recently read a friend's blog post, Have a Very Materialist Christmas.  I met Jonathan in university, and he is now an Anglican Minister.  It is an excellent post and sums the whole idea of giving gifts absolutely perfectly.

Growing up we celebrated Christmas with our family.  I think it started because of pressure from us kids while growing up in Canada - we wanted all that stuff that our friends did on the holidays too, but then we kept it going as we got older.  We had a tree, some of us exchanged gifts (not all were comfortable with it, and that was always fine too) we gathered together and wished one another Kushali Mumbarak and a Merry Christmas.  The best part was dinner.  Sitting together in a huge group, laughing, talking, sharing and celebrating us, our love and our relationships was the highlight of our day.  Some of my absolute fondest memories come from our Christmas dinner.  Family was emphasis of our holiday time together.

A Kiwi Christmas Lunch - So different to what I grew up with, but just as awesome with the family!

I guess I feel like the messages that surround Christmastime such as Peace on Earth; Goodwill Towards All Men; Brotherly Love; the spirit of giving and the emphasis on family should transcend race and religion and really are applicable to all of humanity.

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So I'm wishing you a very merry Christmas, or Happy Hannukah, or a belated Eid or Kushali Mumbarak or anything else I could say to express the same sentiment.

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I wish you and your families well and hope the past year has been good to you and that the coming year is even better.  I wish you strength and courage in the face of adversity and more strength in the knowledge that you are loved and very cared for.  

exhaustion tempered by gratitude

I'm exhausted for all the right reasons.
I'm too tired to write heaps, but feel like I'm going to explode with gratitude, so I had to share why I'm loving life so much (in no particular order...)

1. Great zoo trip yesterday - I love the zoo!
2. Cultural Fair today was AWESOME.  The children who organised it did a GREAT job and the parents were an incredible help.  The assembly in the afternoon was fabulous and everyone was well impressed with my students' square dancing.  Particularly grateful that no one was absent and I didn't have to get up there and dance in their place!



The sign they started yesterday and finished this morning (just in time too!)
















3. I'm going home TOMORROW!!  (and finally get to check out the international Air NZ Lounge!)
4. Tomorrow is the last day of Term 3 - only 8 more weeks of school until the long holidays, summer and beaches.
5. I was bone tired today and was lucky enough to be served a lovely dinner by a lovely husband while I was sprawled in my chair.
6. I'm going to see Noah and Maya and give them the stuffed toys I made with so much love (and swearing.)
7. I'm going to see my Mum, Navaz and Shazeen!
8. And my friends!
9. I got lovely letters from my Year 8 students that I mentored for exhibition (not from my class.)  It was a great opportunity to get to know some awesome kids that I don't get a chance to work with very often.  My favourite lines: "You have made this exhibition a whole lot better with your happy and cheery personality day after day which has kept me motivated.  You have helped me become more of a role model because you are such a great role model yourself."   and "Once again I would like to thank you for givng up your time to help us make our presentation.  And being the best mentor ever!" 
10. I got some beautiful cards (and a box of chocolates which came in handy at the zoo yesterday) from a couple of my students recently... it made me cry when I read "I am so greatful that I can now not be hurt inside.  I am also great-ful you have helped me with my Dislexia."  (How much do I love that this child spelled Dyslexia wrong?!)  "I know that they (classmates) are better but a know even more that I am better than them at somthing they are not... I can't imagine not having a teacher like you when I go (next year.)"  (It was very hard not to correct that as I was typing!) (The words in blue were written with sparkly blue pen.)  When I asked their mum about it, she said it was all her children's words - she didn't prompt them one bit.  Gorgeous!
11. This is my 100th blog post!
12. I'm now going to up to my bed, and I have a roof over my head, a full tummy and am blessed with all that I need for a happy, safe and secure life.

Going Bananas!

 Pictured here is my gorgeous niece, Maya and the monkey I made for her.  I often tell Phill that I'm looking forward to going home to get to know Maya better.  From what I hear she's feisty, funny and fabulous. 



I hope this little token will let Maya know that even though I don't know her very well (yet) - she's very much in my heart!

My Heart Is Finally Full of Gratitude

Okay.  I'll say it.  I've been struggling with being grateful for the last few weeks. 

There have been the odd dazzlingly-bright spots here and there (weddings, anniversaries and house purchasing - truly awesome) but overwhelmingly, the emotion I've was one of being sort of pissed off.  I have a lot of anger and frustration about Dad's passing and the fact that today is the one year anniversary of that day.  My heart was too full of anger, frustration, sadness and self-pity to be full of gratitude.  It wasn't a great place to be, but I'm not going to apologize for it.  It's natural and I'm okay with that. 

I'm also okay with the fact that there have been floods tears over the last few weeks (just to clarify, those tears have been mine.)  Usually, they would come at random and often inopportune moments.  Sometimes there would be torrents of tears, at other times it would be just a trickle... but they've been there, constantly threatening to come out and wreak havoc upon my carefully applied eyeliner and mascara.  One day, I started crying while putting on my eyeliner.  Then I poked myself in the eye with it.  After that I'm not sure if I was crying about Dad or the fact that I was momentarily blinded with a black slash of crazy Japanese liquid eyeliner across my eyeball.  I like to think that I was rocking the heroin chic raccoon look that day.  I can giggle at that now, but I couldn't when it happened.

Now that today has (more or less) ended, I'm feeling... lighter.  My grief hasn't lessened but as I lay on the sofa, staring blankly at Phillip I felt my heart fill up. (HA! fill up - Phillip?  Get it?  That was totally unplanned.  I'm such a dork.  Even dorkier - I'm not going to edit that out.)

Seriously though. 

I am so freakin' loved!  I'm not trying to be immodest, but in that singular moment, I stopped to think.  It came in a deluge - I was thinking about Phillipa, who sent me a text first thing this morning to offer her company and hugs if I needed it; about Shazeen, who has been checking up on me for the past few days; about Faiza who sent me so much love and so many hugs over the phone that I couldn't help BUT to feel them.  Then there was hearing the sound of Mum's voice that made me feel miles better... just hearing her was enough.  That was just today.  I have had friends and family sending me so much love and support and propping me up over the past year, it's unbelievable.  How can I forget that and have a pity party?

But Phillip.  Wow.  I am so in love with that man.  I don't know that I can express how thankful I am for him.  For his patience, his love, his slightly off-beat (and sometimes inappropriate) sense of humour, the hugs, his understanding, his intuitiveness and his just knowing.  I look at him, and my heart smiles and I know I'm home.  I am so grateful that he is my husband.

My heart is full of love and gratitude again.  That's how Dad would have wanted it.  

Happy Birthday to An Amazing Woman

Today (in Canada) was Mum's birthday.  I tried to write something yesterday (on her NZ birthday) and I drew  a blank.  I stared at the blinking cursor, getting more and more irritated with the single, vertical line flashing at me.  "Write something.  Write something.  Write something."  That's what was saying (shouting) to me.  I'm finding it frustrating.

I mean, how do I adequately express how thankful I am for my mum?  How do I explain how inspiring and strong she is?  Can I do it justice?  Do I say that sometimes I sit and wonder how she can be so much of everything for everyone, and always has been?

How do I express my gratitude for the way she raised me?  The strong values and belief in myself that she instilled in me?  What about the fact that she willingly sacrificed anything and everything for us at the drop of a hat... How about when she'd take control of things when no one else would, even if it was a crap job?  She'd do it.  End of story. 

She pretends like she's a hard arse, but she has a heart as big and vast as the ocean and has never hesitated to open her heart, her arms and her home to others.

I suppose I can't really do her justice.  You'll just have to take my word for it.  When I was younger, I used to think she was the most beautiful woman in the world; now that I'm older, I know that she is - inside and out... her smile could always light up a room. 

Happy birthday to you, Mum.  Thank you for everything you have done, do and will do.  I love you and I pray the coming year brings you only happiness.  I hope one day, I can do as much for my own children as you have done for us.  xox me. 

 "I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights." ~Terri Guillemets

Looking Forward...

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship."
Louisa May Alcott

 

Every year is full of its own unique challenges and it seems that John Lennon was right, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..."  What's that they (the very wise 'they') say about the best laid plans...  2010 was full of plans for us.  It was also full of unexpected (and some very unpleasant) surprises.  It was hard, at times, to keep an attitude of gratitude.  There were times where I did not feel particularly grateful at all.  There was more than once instance upon which I yelled, screamed, cried and stomped my feet in anger, frustration and sadness. 

But in each and every moment of sadness, frustration and anger, there was always the knowledge that I am soul happy.  Every night, before I go to sleep, a smile still tickles my lips because through all that life stuff I am soul happy.  I have been made stronger for it, and from each and every experience that tested and challenged me, I have learned and loved through it.  I have been truly blessed with amazing relationships - friends, students/parents, co-workers, family and the most wonderful, beautiful and inspiring love with my husband.  For every challenging moment in 2010 came with blessings and perfect moments too... there were hundreds of perfect moments this past year - too many to count.  For that, I am so grateful.  Yin and yang and all that.  

Tonight is New Year's Eve.  It's nearly 9:30 p.m. on the 31st of December and I am not out, partying it up or celebrating the end of another year, or the beginning of the next... I am home.  With my feet up; listening to someone let off fireworks down the road, and two of my favourite people in the whole, wide world.  My darling, beloved husband sits just over there, just an arm's reach away; my wonderful, strong and inspiring mum is upstairs sleeping off her jet lag.  We are just simply being.  I can honestly say, there's nowhere else I'd rather be at this very moment, and no-one else I'd rather be with.

In some ways, today is just another day... but every new day brings the promise of possibility, adventure, learning and life... I'm looking forward to the days of 2011.

Wishing you all the most wonderful days ahead. x

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Another Letter to Dad

Possibly the best picture ever.  Dad feeding me birthday cake... I'm guessing 4th or 5th birthday, based on the fact that I know I have a school photo in that sweater.

Dear Dad,

Tomorrow's my first 'First' without you. Everyone at home's had their First… this is my first one. I feel a bit nauseous to tell the truth.

I had a lovely evening tonight while I was at the movies with Phillipa, but there was a scene, where a father had to say good bye to his son. While I am not your son, it seemed to kick me in the gut in just that way... Let's just say I sniffled more than once. That's when I remembered that tomorrow will be the first time ever, that I don't talk to you on my birthday. I don't like it. Not one bit. Some part of me will still be waiting for your phone call.

You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow, Dad… I know you're always with me.  Please don't worry about me too much, like I always tell you, I'm fine - promise.  I have Phill and Mum, as well as Navaz & Shazeen.  In addition, I've got some fantastic, loving, supportive people in my life.  I'm truly blessed, Dad... so it's okay (and normal) for me to be a bit sad.  I'm okay with it.   

But I'll still be thinking of you and waiting for my call.
 
Love you & miss you,

me.

My KFC birthday feast.  I think this was my 9th birthday... I got to pick dinner and have a friend over to join us.

Can't leave out my wonderful Mum & fantastic brother.  Dad was behind the camera (of course.) 

Sunday Evening Reflections... At Long Last!

Things have been so happily frenetic the last few weeks, I haven't had peaceful Sunday evening to write in a while.  I loved every minute of it, but I didn't realise how it had all caught up with me until last week when my eyes did some crazy swollen thing!  A big lie-in yesterday solved the problem quick smart and I'm back to my sparkly self.

Highlights of the last few weeks include lots of mail (which of course I tore open in my great anticipation.)  I was feeling a bit blue today, and got the most lovely letter from one of my pen pals in Aussie and reading what she had to say brought so much lightness to my heart.  So thankful I started writing letters!  I also got an awesome card from Ang - another friendship I'm happy to have rekindled through the magic of the Internet.

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Shayda bai (Mum's sister) was here from Sydney for meetings a couple of weeks ago.  We had a lovely dinner out together on our last night here and I took her to the top of One Tree Hill and for a drive around the neighbourhood.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - family time is so good for the soul. 

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Also along the lines of good for the soul - had an awesome time at Phillipa & Truman's last week.  We went over for dinner and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.  We were spoiled with great food and stimulating conversation.  It goes without saying that I enjoy any time I spend with Phillipa, but it was really great to get to talk to Truman and get to know the man that my wonderful friend is going to marry in April!  

On a more serious note, I've been sending lots of love and prayers for strength to everyone in Christchurch and to those with friends and family there after the massive earthquake that rocked them last week.  I'm also very thankful that no one died in the quake (although, sadly there has been one quake related death since then.)

I'm sure there's so much more over the past couple of weeks that I'm missing, but I must get to the fabulousness that was this weekend...

First of all, I have to say (yet again), I've got some awesome friends.  I'm very lucky.  I probably don't tell them as often as I should, but I count my blessings every day that I am so fortunate. 

This afternoon, I had a great Skype chat with Megan today (after a very lengthy Facebook chat).  It was so fantastic, leaping into the 21st century!  Phill installed Skype on his laptop a good 8 months ago, and I admit it, I was resistant.  While chit chatting with Megan, I downloaded and installed it and we were off to the races!  It was wonderful to see her beautiful, smiling face and to hear her infectious laugh.  Megan.  Rocks. 

As I mentioned in Friday's post, it was Eid.  Phill was out that night, but we spent the rest of the weekend celebrating.  On Saturday he made me a very special dinner and we had fancy ice cream for dessert.  You can't go wrong with white chocolate raspberry ice cream!

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Today, Phill and I had the most wonderful day wandering around West Auckland.  We went to the Waitakere Ranges Park and it was absolutely idyllic.  We then had lunch at a cozy restaurant in Titirangi overlooking the bush.  All through the day, the lyrics from Lou Reed's song, Perfect Day ran through my mind (even when I was having a meltdown with changing gears on hilly, windy roads.)  

Oh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spend it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day
problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
it's such fun

Just a perfect day
you made me forget myself
I thought I was
someone else, someone good

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Thank you for another perfect day, my love.

I can't wait for this week! 

Gratitude overflows with "L."

At the risk of being predictable and trite, I'm going to do it... my deepest gratitude belongs to the letter "l" for love. 

It is one of the most fundamental human needs and something that is felt universally across cultures and without bounds.  There's a reason that scores of poems, songs, books, movies, paintings and all other manner of artistic (and not-so-artistic endeavours) are all devoted to this very subject.  A quick Google search has yielded "About 8,300,000,000 results."

I won't pretend to be able to be eloquent and describe all the various forms of love that exist in the universe, nor those which are in my life.  It is simply there, manifest in my daily life in innumerable ways.  It’s there in so many ways, that sometimes I don't even see or realise it is there.  

I have been incredibly fortunate, in my short thirty-some-odd journeys around the sun to have been loved and have had the opportunity to give love to some amazing, wonderful, incredible people.

I wish I could say that in the pursuit of love and being loved, I have been entirely faultless, but that would be a complete and utter lie – I’m truly beyond sorry if you have ever been on the receiving end of one of my poorly judged or misguided attempts… 

I have always loved deeply, passionately and without reservation.  This has gone a bit wrong on me by times and I’ve stumbled here and there, sometimes I’ve even fallen flat on my backside… but who hasn’t been there?  I will continue to love like crazy – even if it’s not always reciprocated – I will continue to love living; love my beautiful family; love my amazing friends; love nature; love making mistakes; love learning; love laughing and love loving.  

Love and light to you and yours. x

'F' is for Fishing

Dear Dad,

I don't know if you ever read my blog... but I figure if I put this out there, this will get up to you somehow and you'll know what's in my heart.  I've got a lot to say, but mostly, I want to thank you for taking us fishing when we were growing up. 

I have millions of happy memories of and with you... the big, beaming, beautiful smile on your face as you stood on the edge of the dance floor at Navaz and Shazeen's engagement watching your eldest son so happy and so obviously in love (Shazeen knows exactly the smile and moment I'm talking about.)  Your pride and love was always so obvious on your face when you looked at Noah and Maya - like the world revolved around them.  Even the worried and apprehensive smile you gave me as you left me at university; that look on your face always stayed with me.  You were well known for your love of our pool, the barbecue and you throwing an awesome party.  Your speech at our wedding in New Zealand was one of the happiest and most beautiful moments of my life - I've still got it here in a folder  and that photo of you looking at me with at the wedding in Toronto chokes me up every single time... but most of all, I remember fishing. 

The thing is, Dad... it isn't just Navaz and I who remember it.  All your nieces and nephews - they all remember going fishing with you when they were kids.  Not only do they remember how much fun it was, but they remember how patient you were in untangling our lines, showing us how to cast the rod and how proud you were of each and every one of us when we'd catch anything (including sunfish and perch.)  You were loving, but firm (in making us bait the hooks ourselves - ugh.)  You somehow got us all to sit down and be quiet for prolonged periods of time (so we wouldn't scare away the fish) and we still had fun.  It was a family affair but everyone was welcome.  You had that special gift (as I've been told many times in the last few weeks) of making everyone you met feel like family. 

It was just fun being with you... and we loved every minute of it. 

Thank you for taking us fishing Dad, and teaching us, through fishing, the value of being with family; being quiet; having fun; patience; perseverance and love.  We were very lucky to have you as our Dad.

Love you & miss you,

me.